The last 2 months have been the most depressing ever..

Simply put, my stepfather has been hospitalized for the last 11 weeks, and this is putting an enormous strain on my wife and I, and on her whole family. My sense of humor, normally an asset, is not very welcome lately, and i don't know how to get her out of her depression. I have not thought much about sex AT ALL, as, since he has gone in to the hospital, we have only slept together alone about12 total days, with relatives and friends over. Nobody has been to Canada except her sister to watch the houses, and we have been staying in the little carriage house ( Mrs V rented out her old house) . i cant get onlnine alone very easy, because we are using other peoples computers, and it feels wierd having to keep erasing teased2tears out of the history and yahoo folders of other peoples computers. i did see Ms Rachel online once. but with so many people in the other room, i was to afraid to chat.. i feel miserable. In addition to late tributes, i have $150 in late milking fines, and am 3150 points in the negative ($150 and 150 points milking penalties, 1500 points late tributes (1650)1500 points 2 orgasms with msV without permission (3150)........ any way.... my penis is almost always limp now.....partly from my trainin, and partly because it is just so heavy here lately. This aniversary and birthday are going to really suck... on top of i feel bad by not hopeing that the jerk will recover..

A little Reminder..

This picture fills me with dread, fear, and excitement, mainly because it is somthing i might actually buy, and since it is easier to wear than the chains, and can be removed quickly, i could wear it almost all the time except when Mrs.V is at home, or when i am expecting to cross the border. i can almost see myself sending Mistress Rachel quick phone text messages, letting Her know i am locked, or unlocked, and then She could enjoy Her day knowing not only that i am just dying to ejaculate, or have an orgasm, or touch my cock, or to even get hard, and that not only am i dying for those things, but that until my next message, they are an imposibility.

well, i am also fresh off a very nice and very satisfying orgasm which was the result of winning a contest in my Owners yahoo group, i am concerneed about the squirting part of it, the ejaculating part, not being as strong as i had hoped, ( and i was wondering if it was possible for those muscles to atrophy over time, that would be dreadful! ... ) but it was so tearfully good to be able to keep rubbing during and all thru my orgasm, and to have complete control of when i was going to squirt, and how, and to to be able to stimulate my balls ond my body just as i was beginnig to cum, and all the things that most normal men take for granted, when they are not owned! i am not sure, but to the best i can determine, this is the first time i had any type of release from masturbating without somthing in my ass no plug, vibe dildo, nothing, since October of 2003! and it is, excluding cristmaas eve, the last time i have beeen able to rub my penis DURING ejaculation, with my hands, since November of 2003! Since my orgasm, i have been dreaming of that sensation which i almost forgot i missed almost every night.

Strangely, even though Mistress Rachel told me to enjoy it, to cum any way i liked, even while i was cumming, i felt so CONTROLLED by Her! i knew that this great feeling was only happening because She was allowing it, and i was very grateful that i did not have to , well, not have to eat it this time... well, my wife is at the gate, and she will be here very soon, so long for now!

Back in the Saddle!

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